It's been a while now since my first encounter. It was with Master Figata and opened a whole new chapter of my life. He taught me, in a single, mind-blowing afternoon, the meaning of absolute pleasure, while simultaneously giving me a clear understanding of the path I need to pursue.
However, the encounter has left me in some kind of personal quandary. What the Master did to me was beautiful, and intense, and I've been craving more of it ever since. I have been as patient as possible. I have knuckled down in classes and tried my hardest to be the best student here. I've also refrained entirely from pleasuring myself-it sounds dumb, but part of me feels that if I cave into my urge to spend every last second of my private time jerking myself into oblivion, I'll be jinxing future opportunities or somehow lessening the impact of whatever's destined to happen next.
When I received notification of my calling, I figured that the time may have finally come. I got myself into quite a state as I walked across the complex to the designated office. Overcome with a mixture of fear and excitement, I ended up feeling so anxious that I undid the top button of my shirt just to breathe. I tried to push the tie knot back up in a way that didn't make it look like the button was undone, but I knew I wasn't making the right impression and that bothered me.
I was surprised that it wasn't Master Figata in the office; I'd assumed that he'd be exclusively in charge of my formal development. I was instead greeted by Master Weston, a man that I don't know quite as well. My only interaction with him happened about three weeks ago when he was seated next to me in the formal hall. Looking back, I guess he did seem a little more curious about me than I probably should have expected.
He was considerably less warm with me this time. As I sat down in the office he was reading some sort of official file, which I assume was filled with information about me. I could feel the beads of anxious sweat prickling on my forehead. I wondered if it was too late to try to do my top button back up again.
He asked if I still believed that I wasn't attracted to men, and I confirmed that this was indeed the case. My encounter with Master Figata was, of course, something which could easily be defined as a man-to-man sexual encounter. It could also be argued to be a one-off; an elevated learning experience which doesn't necessarily define me as gay. To be honest, I was utterly confused. I'd deliberately pushed any thoughts about carnal pleasure to the very back of my mind, refusing to entertain them for fear of them engulfing me.
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